During October I Will.....


Wednesday, 14 September 2011

One Little Word

This January I declared my one little word this year would be me.  Sadly the latter part of this year has seen this personal pledge fall far from my mind.

I need 'me' to return.

words of wisdom.

These last few months have been hard and to be honest I have really struggled.  After getting over a problem with the tendons in my foot around Easter I then developed this skin infection which caused (now over 100) blisters which then turned in to abscesses.  Four of these have needed operating.  Then came the broken leg and knee followed by last week developing a DVT due to my broken leg being immobile.

I have struggled to keep a grip on things and I am tired, frustrated and a lot of other similar 'labels'.

I feel like I can never compare to others, to achieve what they achieve, to be as happy as they are, to wake up in the morning and not feel ill, in pain or have energy.

My scrapping mojo left me, in fact my mojo for most things in life left.

It frustrates me that I have no control over a number of things in my life and no matter how hard I try, there is nothing I can do to change this fact.

I have lost 'me'

And today.....although the pain and the tiredness remains, I feel more ready to tackle finding 'me'.

I get upset when I read some blogs where everyone's life is so wonderful.  It upsets me to think, these people can't be honest.  I only hope they are honest with themselves because I truly do believe life is not perfect and it upsets me that I get upset for a mere moment that my life is not perfect like theirs.

I am making a promise to myself that I will not believe these fairy tales and will live my life being honest and true to myself.


I do believe in 'me' and I will let 'me' shine.

I would like to thank a wonderful lady who inspires me and for encouraging me to be true to myself and write this post.


Peg said...

Came here from Steph's blog. Thanks for sharing so openly and I'm sorry you've been stuck in medical treatment H*&^%. I hate those times in life. You can find you, I know you can and I too lost track of my OLW pretty early on this year. Hoping to do a reboot on that after my vacation. Hope you have a good rest of your week and you might be able to carve out a little bit of time for whatever you want to do this weekend. Mom's don't do that enough!

Stephanie Howell said...

be gentle with yourself. it is SO easy for us to beat up on ourselves, isn't it? we would NEVER speak to anyone else the way we speak to ourselves. thank you for sharing, i hope your day is happy, light, and beautiful. xxo

Mariah said...

I think I can identify with you a lot. I lost "me" after my kids were born. I finally feel like I'm getting "me" back. P.S. my mojo is gone too :(

Vanessa (aka V'ness, Nessa, oldschool) said...

life sure kicks you in the ass sometimes...sorry for your struggles!

Anonymous said...

candace, i haven't blogged for weeks and really have skimmed over this post. I'm sorry you have found things tough. You do seem to have a lot on your plate. But take this one piece of wisdon, or advice or whatever. No-one's life is perfect, and if anyone tells you theirs is - they're lying. There are some people that I think use their blog to show their perfect life, but believ me, they'll come a cropper! Hope things pick up for you soon xxx

Rainy Day Crafter said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much lately. I do understand much of what you've said as I've had a lot of problems this year too, starting with something as simple as getting my ears pierced and ending up with three months off work sick, and even though I'm back now, things are still ongoing. During all this time, I found that trying to get enjoyment out of the small and simple things in life has really helped. I really hope that things start to improve for you soon!

And as hard as it is, when you read about people's 'perfect lives', really try not to compare yourself to them. I'm sure that their lives really aren't that perfect in reality!

Oops, sorry, long comment!


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